You’re in love, right? So you commit to a lasting relationship. Maybe you get married. And live happily ever after. Love is all you need.


But recent studies show that a dose of humility is a helpful factor in keeping your love alive and healthy for a long time. Humility is an important personality trait that indicates you can have a successful, enduring relationship.


Humility—not self-deprecating, insecure, low self-esteem—but true humility, is a great quality for you and your partner to have. When you’re humble, you are aware of your humanity and your imperfect qualities. You can admit when you’re wrong. You have an objective view of your shortcomings without downplaying your positive assets. You’re self-aware—you know your strengths and weaknesses.

Your Relationship May Last If You’re Ever So Humble Nancy'S Counseling Corner

Humility Is a Valued Quality


Humility is such an asset that people give their partners high marks for having it. It’s deemed an important quality in your significant other. Someone who is humble is also more apt to initiate a relationship with someone else—maybe because he doesn’t think he’s too good for a prospective mate on one hand, or too unworthy on the other hand.


When you think about it, the reason humility is probably rated so highly as a quality is because its opposite is arrogance, conceit, and egotism. Who wants a partner with those traits?


A Humble Partner Is Easier to Forgive


People who thought their partner was humble found it easier to forgive them. And conversely, people who thought their partner was arrogant found it harder to forgive them. When your partner doesn’t think he has faults, and can’t admit to his own shortcomings, it’s hard to forgive that kind of person.


You’re even more likely to forgive your humble partner if he has a strong social network of friends. The study doesn’t say why, but it stands to reason that if your partner has a lot of close, supportive friends, you feel that they are able to see his good qualities and perhaps the bad ones should be forgiven. But if your partner is arrogant, it doesn’t matter how many good friends he has, he’s still going to be in the doghouse.


The bottom line is, people make mistakes. We’re human. We do and say things that we shouldn’t. Humble people recognize that, and you’ll find them easier to forgive. And forgiveness is important in a long-term relationship and long-lasting love.



Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: