Why Some Women Cheat

by | Feb 13, 2012

It may come as a surprise to some, but according to recent studies, 14% of married women have cheated on their husbands at least once. This is compared to 22% of married men. In other studies, the results are closer to equal, stating that women now cheat as much as men.

Why do some women cheat? Many of today?s women go through an early mid-life crisis. In their twenties or thirties, after short marriages, they may seek divorces. Their reasons for dissatisfaction in their marriages are different than those of men. Frequently, men have a need for more sex and/or attention, while women are seeking emotional intimacy. Open communication and unconditional support and encouragement go a long way toward keeping a woman?s spark alive.

There are significant differences between cheating men and women. Once they decide to cheat, women?s indiscretions are less likely to be discovered by their spouses than men?s. Men, however, are far less likely to fall in love with their affair-partner. Women cheat because they are unhappy with their relationships; men cheat while still reporting satisfaction with theirs.

The top reasons women cheat:

  • Too little sex?too often, work, kids, and other responsibilities of everyday life disrupt ?us? time. Women want to feel desirable.
  • Breaking the mold?some women tire of being ?good? and want to play the ?bad girl? for a change.
  • Self-confidence?sex outside the marriage is a huge boost to the ego. Women want to feel appreciated and be told by their partner they are beautiful, sexy, and lovable.
  • Vengeance?this may be for cheating, or may for something completely unrelated such as lying, under-appreciating, or otherwise causing hurt. The old adage, ?hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? holds true in this case.
  • Intimacy insufficiency?on the outside, you have everything. But material things can?t make up for the intimate connections women most desire. Conversations revolve around the kids, the house, finances, and other mundane topics but you haven?t shared a real dialogue in a long time. If intimacy is missing in your relationship, she may look elsewhere.
  • Lack of attention?in a relationship, women who feel neglected or underappreciated may turn outside of the relationship to satisfy their desire for attention, affection, and appreciation. Many women list feeling taken for granted as the reason they cheat. If she feels more like the help than a contributing partner, attention from another man can be hard to resist.
  • Lack of emotional connection?similar to how men need a physical relationship, women need an emotional one. Without it, they feel that their spouse is not present. Communication is paramount to this. It aids in strengthening a woman?s feelings of satisfaction about her emotional and intimacy requirements.
  • Same-old sex?contrary to popular belief, women do hold a good sex life in high regard. Change things up. Try talking about, and later acting out, fantasies.
  • Escape route-cheating, and getting caught at it, is the seemingly easy way out of a bad marriage used by both men and women alike.

Many married women feel taken for granted by a negligent husband. Competition with his job, hobby, or favorite sport may result in her cheating. She may feel that she?s not treated well and is not valued or respected.

Yes, the reasons women cheat are usually more complex than sex alone. Sure, for some, it is all about sex; typically, though, women?s affairs are the result of more complicated problems in the marriage. Frequently, therapy may help to avoid a divorce. The emotional connection many women feel toward their partner in an affair is exactly what?s missing from their marriage. Most women understand the risk they?re taking in pursuing an affair: losing their spouse. However, on one blog, a woman said of her affair-mate, “He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn’t-attention and affection.”


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