You dismiss it as the green-eyed monster in you. You pretend that the puzzling changes in everyday behavior, the evasive answers to questions about where they have been, the muttered phone calls in the other room and the new clothes don?t mean anything. But maybe they do. Can your spouse really cheating on you?

No one wants to believe that their spouse may be cheating on them. The betrayal is unthinkable, you have been married for ages ? you love each other! But the doubt is there. And it?s eating you up. So, be practical and look at the situation objectively; your instinct is screaming out to you that something is wrong, but why? What has triggered the doubt? Are the signs there? Or could you be feeling insecure about yourself right now and that is transferring to how you feel about your spouse? Maybe you are feeling insecure because you know something is wrong?

Ten signs your spouse may be cheating on you

  1. Your spouse has suddenly joined the local gym and has begun a rigorous workout program.
  2. Your spouse has a new preoccupation with their appearance and is buying lots of new clothes
  3. They have taken up a new interest or are suddenly listening to new types of music.
  4. The business trips, the office nights out and ?having to work late? have increased in frequency.
  5. Your spouse is spending an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed. They also have a new login and password, claiming it was time I got it changed if you ask.
  6. Mutual friends have started acting strangely toward you (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible spouse you are).
  7. Your spouse suddenly wants to try new love techniques that you have never done together before and/or they want sex more often.
  8. They stop having sex with you.
  9. Your spouse stops confiding in you and your conversations become impersonal.
  10. They have taken to hiding their credit card bill and cell phone statements instead of leaving them lying around like they used to.

Of course, the only way you are really going to find out if your spouse is cheating is to ask them. But make sure you are ready to hear their response. What are you going to do if they tell you ?Yes, I am having an affair?? Can you forgive them? Can you move on together and put the adultery behind you? Do you want to? Or will your trust have been shattered forever? And more importantly, what if they deny your charge of cheating on you? Will you accept their word? Can you believe them? If the suspicion is left unresolved or only resolved ?on the surface,? this could poison your relationship and create the same ending as if they had been having an affair.

My last word? If you have to ask the question ? is my spouse cheating on me? ? then regardless of whether they are or not, your relationship is in trouble and you need to talk to one another honestly and openly?and soon.