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We’ve been talking about emotional maturity and the indications that you’ve achieved it. You understand that striving for perfection can be crazy-making. You know that holding a grudge is more work than it’s worth. You exercise self-control. And you appreciate the small wonders in life.

We also talked about taking responsibility for yourself and not blaming your parents. You admit you can be wrong sometimes, and you own it. You know that everything is not always about you. And you do your what you can to live your best life.

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What else shows you are learning to become a mature human being?

You transform worry into action. When you wake up in the middle of the night fearful that your credit rating will sink your attempts to finance a new car, you don’t lie awake consumed with worry. You check your credit rating online and find out what it is, for starters. You define the problem so you can understand what the issues are and how you can solve the problem. You make a plan and take the necessary steps to fulfill that plan. Because you know that wallowing in worry is an exercise in futility.

When a worrisome thought is a signal for you to take action, you do it. And you know the difference between a worry you can do something about, and a worry that you can’t change. The latter worry is a waste of your good time, which you’ve learned to take in your stride and not let it bother you.

You judge not, lest you be judged. How exhausting is it to keep tabs on others’ activities and read some kind of significance into them. If the significance is a slight toward you, maybe they are being hateful, but you don’t know for sure unless you ask them. Isn’t it easier to give up reading something bad into every little thing someone else does?

Isn’t it also exhausting to judge others for things you know they’ve done? Because you don’t know why they did what they did unless you ask them. But really, it’s none of your business. It isn’t really your business what they think about you, either, and they probably don’t think about you that much anyway. If other people are judging you, so be it. Now let it go. And let go of judging others, too.

You’ve learned to laugh at yourself. You’ve learned not to take yourself too seriously. Sure, there are important things in life that should be taken seriously, like your job, for example. But you, as a person, are evolving and growing and you’re going to make mistakes. If you can laugh at yourself, your mistakes and your peccadilloes, you have arrived at a place in life that few people achieve. It’s the height of emotional maturity.

The reason you can laugh at yourself is that you can put things into perspective. You have a sense of humor, even about yourself. If someone makes a joke at your expense, you can grasp the truth of it and why it’s funny. You’re confident enough in yourself to stand back and enjoy the joke. You’re in a good place in life where you can be light-hearted and fun-loving. Isn’t that a great place to be?

 

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact