Sex in Long-Term Relationships

by | Feb 15, 2012

Sex in a committed relationship can be affected by the partners\’ ages, experience, culture and religious or moral beliefs, among other factors. It is your and your partner\’s responsibility to preserve the enthusiasm and ardor of the sex you once enjoyed. This takes imagination, creativity, and romance. Some effort is required in order to obtain and maintain a good sex life.

Honesty is critical in building a relationship, with or without sex. And as you might guess, the sexual relationship requires honesty to develop true intimacy. Sharing your fears and insecurities with your partner, as well as your likes and dislikes in the bedroom, can lead to deep and fulfilling intimacy for a lifetime. Sexual intimacy helps keep the relationship alive and it\’s a way of fully and completely expressing your love for each other.

Honest, open communication between partners takes time and practice. Eventually, you will both become accustomed to sharing your true feelings, which will lead to a fuller, more satisfying experience for both of you. More important than your body being ready, your brain must be “in the mood.” Worrying about life outside of the bedroom, along with alcohol or drug use is among the most detrimental factors to a good sex life. Life\’s daily grind, including work, children, and/or money issues, tests a couple\’s ability to keep the spark that originally brought them together. Any of the following tips (or all of them) can help rekindle the flame in a relationship.

10 Tips for a Better Sex Life

  1. Create anticipation-don\’t just go through the motions.
  2. Employ mutual massage-with or without intercourse.
  3. Stimulate all the senses-music, candles, perfume, and erotic foods.
  4. Lower your voice and whisper.
  5. Masturbate-alone or with your partner.
  6. Buy (and use) adult toys.
  7. Do some reading-books range from instructional to erotica; read to each other.
  8. Discuss (and enact) fantasies.
  9. Maintain personal hygiene.
  10. Loosen up.


A 2007 UK study proved that sex influences happiness more strongly than money. After having sex, endorphins are released leading to increased pleasurable feelings and decreased stress. In addition, happy people are often more sexually active. Thus, a chicken vs. egg scenario develops, to the benefit of all involved. In fact, other similar situations exist related to sex. Stress and fatigue are just two examples. Both may be the result of too little sex and may be alleviated by a good sex life. General conclusions indicate that couples with a satisfying sex life are healthier than those without it.

But if you need more reasons for a good, regular sex life, here are the top health benefits of what sex can do for you:

Top Health Benefits Thanks to Sex

  1. Improved heart rate, breathing and circulation
  2. Fewer allergies, colds, and depression
  3. Reduced stress
  4. Chance at a longer life
  5. Improved complexion
  6. You burn more calories
  7. You build more muscles
  8. You relieve pain
  9. You obtain better oral health
  10. Enhanced sleep quality


A healthy and healthful sex life requires time and attention. In today\’s busy world we are often too tired or apathetic to actively maintain our relationships. Something\’s gotta give. Sex is often the easiest place to start. But first, remember: love may be ongoing, but passion needs periodic refreshing. Comfortable is not necessarily sexy. Couples should work on spending more romantic time together and scheduling time for sex into their busy lives; it doesn\’t always have to be spontaneous.

Introduce “date night”; don\’t wait for bedtime or the weekend; get away for a getaway or plan a couple-only staycation; take advantage of sleepovers and other in-home (theirs) babysitting offers; call in sick to work together or schedule a joint day off. Make a healthy and active sex life a priority and drop less significant things. You\’ll both be happier and healthier as a result.


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