How did Sandra Bullock miss the signs about Jesse James?

We all love Sandra. She\’s known as “America\’s sweetheart” and is the archetypal friendly, honest-to-goodness girl next-door. But Sandra hasn\’t got where she is just by being sweet. She is renowned in Hollywood as being a hard worker and a consummate professional, well-deserving of the awards she has received throughout her career. But her recent triumph at the Oscars has been sadly overshadowed by revelations about her husband\’s infidelity.

Eyebrows were raised in some quarters when she got together with Jesse James, the CEO of West Coast Choppers and former host of the TV show, “Monster Garage”. Tattooed and butch, he certainly isn\’t your average Hollywood pretty boy. What made her choose him? Could it be that she is sick and tired of the “Hollywood leading man” (her past partners includes actors Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gosling and she was engaged to actor Tate Donovan in 1994) and wanted what she perceived as a “real man”? One that (apparently) had no fakeness or side to him: what you see is what you get.

Was it the desire for children that had Sandra settling down with James? He has three kids from a previous marriage and she seems to have struck up excellent relations with them all and be close to them. Did she maybe see him as a family man who she could create her own family with? Sandra has been quoted talking about her marriage with Jesse James, “Thankfully I married someone who loves me just the way I am –- and all the nuttiness that goes into me. My greatest joy is making our home what it’s supposed to be. Being a good wife, a good stepmom, and a good current wife to the ex-wife. We’re a family.” Sandra has also made it clear she would like children saying in an interview, “If I did [have kids], my entire life would shift. I would no longer [act] or be in magazines.”

So Sandra wanted a good home, children and a good man, someone who could love her for who she was. And she thought that Jesse James was that man. But how can she have got Jesse James so wrong? How could she have missed the signs about him? Were his two prior marriages and dodgy ex-partners (some of whom were involved in porn and drugs) not indicators enough? Why was Sandra so blind to the characteristics that made him such an obvious risk in a committed relationship?

She must have got to know him pretty well as they spent several years in a relationship before getting married in 2005. In fact they have been together for almost seven years. Was it a form of panic? She may have realized that the clock was ticking and if she wanted a family, it needed to be soon. Sandra has always made it clear that her career came first, her mother (a German opera singer who travelled all over the world performing) apparently advised Sandra to put her career first, men second. And up to this point, Sandra has done that. Maybe she thought it was time to put her desire for a happy, settled home life first.

Or maybe she just did what women down the ages have done; closed their eyes to the truth, ignored the things they did not want to see. It just goes to show, it doesn\’t matter how rich or famous you are, you can still get it wrong. Here\’s wishing Sandra all the best for the future and the happy relationship she deserves.

Contact Nancy