Five ways to say “I love you” when the words aren’t enough

by | Apr 4, 2012

These tips are designed to build and grow a marriage or relationship – when it\’s failing and you can\’t seem to control it, Orange County marriage counseling may be a healthy option for you.

We all know that sometimes our significant others sometimes lack in the love expression department, and even though we know they love us, hearing it or seeing it more often may encourage us to face life feeling more courageous and united. Not everyone excels at expressing their feelings, however, and some can use a helping hand with a few tips and tricks to saying ‘I love you\’ without a single word – making our significant others feel loved and appreciated can never be a bad thing.

1. Laughing is key. Even when there aren\’t particularly sad times to worry about, laughing truly builds a strong relationship between a pair of people. Even just a silly laugh over something your new kitten did or over an internet graphic can relieve tension or ill feelings, even if those feelings are not targeted at each other. Spur of the moment tickle fights and maybe even the occasional pillow fight can bring smiles all around, and a good laugh can have lasting effects many hours after the smile has faded.

Orange County Couples Counseling2. Do something together. In today\’s busy world where two people in a relationship often have to work independent jobs to support the household, spending the hours you can spend together is more important than ever. Even an hour playing a card game together or eating some ice cream at the dinner table and talking about life, love, and worries can bring a pair of people closer together. Another idea is setting time aside specifically to do something together that\’s enriching and fun, like a walk on the beach or a nice brunch at a sidewalk café. Make sure when you do spend time together that the phones are off, Facebook isn\’t a distraction, and all notebooks and laptops are tucked safely away in some other place – nothing can kill a wonderful evening more than an inattentive partner.

3. Connect even when you can\’t see one another. Even when you aren\’t in earshot or arm\’s reach, dropping by a little love note in some form can always brighten your SO\’s day. Even just a text saying “hello, hope your day is great!” can find a warm and cuddly place next to another person\’s heart, and you didn\’t even have to be very good with words. If you and  your partner work opposite shifts, leaving a sticky note on the front door with a big smiley face can be a great way to leave your presence somewhere without actually being there – and after a tough day at the office, every little thing counts.

4. Get crafty. Even if you\’re not a great crafter, there are some excellent and easy projects that can be done in a jiffy to express your affections. Even just hand making your own card with markers like you did in first grade on mother\’s day is a great place to start, and the use of craft papers meant for scrapbooking can add original and beautiful flare to just about anything.

5. Touch physically. This may seem like such a small thing, but often it goes unnoticed far too long. Hugs, kisses, and gentle strokes all say ‘hello, I love you!\’ without a single word. If you want to take it up a level, you can always give a massage to your loved one. Anyone can do a gentle one with their hands, and if your partner spends a long day on his or her feet, a foot massage can convey compassion and love without having to think up anything special and romantic to say.

No matter which way you choose to express your love, know that your partner is trying, too – it may not always seem like they express it in the same way, and they probably don\’t, but love comes in many different languages, as you learn in Orange County marriage counseling. Even if they didn\’t leave the note, maybe they kissed you on the cheek to say goodbye – or maybe they dropped you a short text in the middle of their impossibly busy day. Through it all, appreciating one another can come in many different forms – most of which are happy, healthy, wonderful ways to just say ‘I love you\’.

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional.  If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch.  You can reach her here:


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