Does Your Depression Affect Your Relationship?

by | Jun 28, 2023

When you are in the throes of depression, it’s hard to think about anything else, including how to nourish your relationship with your significant other. Depression often makes you want to curl up within yourself and quietly suffer alone. This can take an emotional toll on your relationship—your isolation, your listless energy, your lack of communication, and diminished desire for sexual intimacy. All these are symptoms of depression and have important negative effects on your relationship.


When you’re depressed, your body is trying to tell you something. The question is, what? You’re out of whack. You can’t sleep or you sleep too much. You’re stressed and you’ve lost interest in activities that used to be important. You don’t exercise or eat properly.

Marriage Counseling, Relationships, Couples

Talk to Your Partner


Even though you don’t feel like talking, it may help you discover more about why you’re depressed. And when you share your feelings with your partner, it keeps the line of communications open, which is always a good thing. You might feel you don’t want to burden him with your problems, but, in fact, most partners want to know what’s wrong. And most want to help.


Your partner may offer suggestions that you find impossible to do, but again, keep the line open. Don’t dismiss what he says out of hand, even if it seems outrageous to you. Tell him why it seems difficult for you but be willing to explore options. Rather that shutting him out with silence, ask him what you need from him. It may even bring you closer.


Be Specific About What Will Help You


Maybe you just need him to let you be for a while as you work it out yourself. Even if that’s the case, it’s good for him to know what you’re going through so he can be supportive, even if quietly. Or maybe you need him to listen to you as you talk things out, without him making any judgements or trying to fix anything.


You may need your partner to do some of the chores you usually do, because when you’re depressed, it renders you lethargic. Chores can seem unsurmountable. He can also help you exercise when you don’t feel like it, by going with you or giving you encouragement. Also, if you don’t feel up to cooking and eating properly, he can take over. It’s important that you eat properly.


If you decide you need third party help, your partner may assist you in finding a qualified professional that’s a good fit for you.



Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here:



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