by Nancy Travers | Jun 26, 2022 | Uncategorized
Last time we talked about the ego defenses people use to mitigate the anxiety we have when we are not behaving as we think we ought to. We repress things, which is an active but unconscious act of forgetting things we find less than stellar about ourselves. We employ...
by Nancy Travers | Jun 13, 2022 | Uncategorized
Defense mechanisms come in handy when you’re trying to justify that you’re still a good person even though you just committed murder. Or, say, when you scolded your child out of anger when he didn’t deserve it. Or whenever you do or say something—reality—that...
by Nancy Travers | May 29, 2022 | Uncategorized
The Dali Lama said the purpose of our lives is to be happy. But is it easier said than done? Surely there are circumstances into which you are born that would make you happy, like being healthy, for example. Yet, many people who have health problems manage to be happy...
by Nancy Travers | May 20, 2022 | Uncategorized
Over time, relationships evolve and change. Resentments can build up, sometimes unbeknownst to one partner or the other. For example, maybe early in your relationship, still unsure of your partner’s boundaries and desires, you let slip something personal to a friend...
by Nancy Travers | May 1, 2022 | Uncategorized
Has anyone has ever apologized to you by saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or some variation like, “Gee, it’s too bad you feel like that.” Before you feel tempted to accept this non-apology apology, know that it’s hogwash. In fact, it’s worse than hogwash...
by Nancy Travers | Apr 17, 2022 | Uncategorized
Yes, you want your partner to be good looking, to be strong and smart and whatever else is on your list. But there is one, more subtle factor, that is significantly important. And that is the ability to recognize your strengths and weaknesses. And when they see you...
by Nancy Travers | Apr 3, 2022 | Uncategorized
Especially during the last couple years of pandemic stress, happiness can seem elusive. You’ll be happy sometime in the future. You’ll be happy when you can travel when you can get back to the office when you can go to a concert. You’ll be happy when you meet...
by Nancy Travers | Mar 21, 2022 | Uncategorized
Maybe you’re lucky enough to fall in love and experience those early stages of can’t-get-enough-of-you love. But eventually, that intensity wears off and you settle into the reality of that relationship. You and your partner bring a lifetime of baggage that may...
by Nancy Travers | Mar 6, 2022 | Uncategorized
Children exposed to their parents’ fighting can become anxious, depressed, or angry themselves. As a result, they sometimes have trouble focusing in school or have other problems like sleep disturbances. They can lash out at others, and when they grow up, they may...
by Nancy Travers | Feb 21, 2022 | Uncategorized
It’s normal—even healthy—to get angry with your partner from time to time. He forgot to put the toilet seat down. You left the dirty dishes in the sink. Little annoyances can trigger irritation in you or your partner. But when your anger gets out of control and your...
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