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Listen Up

Ever heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying....

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The Biggest Challenge of Our Time

Hard times are upon us and it seems we have some difficult choices to make. One of them is a choice to summon our better angels or to let fear overtake us. It’s easy to succumb to fear because we would be crazy not to be concerned. But irrational fear isn’t helpful....

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Why Women Have Emotional Labor Overload

Things are getting better, but it’s still true that women do more housework than their spouses. That’s something tangible that can be measured and discussed and ultimately fixed. But there’s something a little less concrete that women do that’s harder to correct....

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Do Trial Separations Work?

Your marriage is on the rocks. You dread going home at night. You dread the weekends. You dread spending time with your spouse. You’re exhausted and frustrated and unhappy. You don’t like your life right now. But the thought of a divorce is terrifying. It’s such a...

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Are You Being Emotionally Abused?

When someone else makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s emotional abuse. It doesn’t have to be your partner—it can be a family member, a coworker or a so-called friend. ‘So-called’ because a good friend would never make you feel bad about yourself, at least not...

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How Words Can Hurt You

Sticks and stones can break your bones and words can really hurt you, too. Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, although this is not a contest anyone wants to win. The trouble is, emotional abuse does not produce obvious wounds like physical abuse...

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Take the Pressure Off Valentine’s Day

Stupid Cupid. He raises expectations and puts on the pressure every Valentine’s Day. He makes you feel especially alone if you don’t have a lover. And if you do have a lover, Cupid makes you wonder if your partner is delivering as much as he should in the flowers and...

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How to Talk About Sex with Your Partner

I know people who would rather get a poke in the eye with a sharp stick than talk about sex with their partner. It’s an uncomfortable conversation. It has the potential of being confrontational. And we often don’t have the vocabulary we need to express ourselves well....

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