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Escape from Being Your Family’s Scapegoat

If your parents and siblings use you to maintain their unhealthy behavior patterns, you are the family’s scapegoat, the repository of all your dysfunctional family’s problems. You’ve been the target of bullying and emotional abuse, maybe even physical abuse. And this unfair, cruel targeting has left you with a number of your own problems, like low self-esteem and depression. If…

Are You Your Family’s Scapegoat?

Are You Your Family’s Scapegoat? I have a friend who blames the dog when something goes wrong in her family. Who forgot to put the milk back in the fridge? “Buddy!” Who left the garage door open? “Buddy!” The use of humor is a healthy approach in such situations. But when the family chooses a child or a sibling as…

Can You Predict Divorce?

Can You Predict Divorce? No one thinks they’ll get divorced when they’re engaged to be married. They’re excited. They’re in love. They’re in lust. But 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce and the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. So there are a lot of people who are surprised to find themselves part of…

Are You Being Manipulated?

Are you in a relationship where you feel unbalanced, feel like you’re walking on eggshells, feel humiliated, and just plain feel something isn’t right? You could be suffering from a partner who manipulates you to keep you in control. You could be suffering from emotional abuse. And even though he doesn’t hit you, the abuse is very real. Sometimes your…

What Do You Expect from Therapy?

Sure you could benefit from sitting down with a professional and talking about your life. Who wouldn’t? But you haven’t had some life altering trauma or a serious mood disorder, for example. So you’re not feeling an urgent need for therapy. It’s just that you know you might gain some clarity if you finally admitted to yourself that therapy is…

Are You Joining the Mob on Social Media?

Did your mother ever say, “If everyone else jumped off the cliff, would you jump, too?” She was trying to teach you about mob mentality and its perils. And she was trying to get you to think critically—for yourself. Of course you wouldn’t jump off a cliff if you thought about it, but many of us become lemmings in a…

Narcissist Family Dynamics

If you grew up in a household with a narcissist parent, then you learned to cope in a dysfunctional family. Your narcissist parent believed she was the automatic ruler of the household, and there could be no breaching her in any way. She was in complete control and was not to be questioned. That’s because those with narcissist personality disorder…

Happy Father’s Day?

For some people, the word “happy” and “father” should never be in the same sentence. Except, perhaps, to say they are happy they escaped from their father. So when many people are firing up the grill to celebrate with dad, you may be relieved that you aren’t. If you were abused as a child, emotionally or physically, chances are your…

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